Call (501) 502-0317 or Email jeff@mnacounseling.com
COUNSELING SERVICES
INDIVIDUAL THERAPY
Struggles and pain bubble up in all kinds of ways for all sorts of reasons. But they all have one thing in common: they're all informed by emotion. Feelings like anxiety, sadness, and anger are useful feelings, really. It's just our body's way of moving us to action, i.e. behavior. You might even call this emotional intelligence. After all, it's not just the cognitive part of the brain that informs healthy living. Emotions, or the limbic part of the brain, offer valuable information when we're in distress. If we can only tolerate it. But when the feeling is intolerable, or what Bowlby describes as "alien, frightening, and unacceptable emotion," we learn to tune these feelings out - or turn them up. These survival behaviors can cause us to become limited and stuck. At M&A Counseling, we work with clients through an attachment-based model called Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT). The primary goal of EFIT is to expand the self and shape more positive bonding connections with the ones we love. The therapist becomes a safe-haven to see and hold what has been too frightening or painful to process alone. As the old saying goes, "A shared pain is half the pain and a shared joy is double the joy." So while you may be one, you don't have to be alone.
COUPLE THERAPY
Relationships are great...until they're not. When the going gets rough, we get reactive. Someone feels disconnected, so they reach out to talk and close the distance. Only to see their partner get quiet and pull away. The more one talks and gets no comfort, the more rejected they feel. The more the other withdraws to keep things from getting worse, the more they feel like a failure with no good move. The pursuit of one begins to feel critical to the other. And the withdrawal of the other begins to feel like abandonment to their partner. This is negative emotional cycle. It happens to the best of us in this emotional dance we call romantic love. No one couple is immune. Inevitably, someone steps on toes (trigger), it hurts (emotion), it keeps happening (meaning), and we either scream or try to swear off dancing (protection). The pushy or shut-down reactions are just a way of saying "OUCH!" At M&A Counseling, we work through Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to get clear on the dance, the pattern, and the underlying attachment emotions that can easily get lost in reactivity. We create a safe space to slow things down so the softer, more vulnerable parts can come forward, first with the therapist, and then with your partner. In EFT, the therapist is like a guide and a safety net as you walk this tightrope of safety. Slowing things down to help both keep emotional equilibrium, and getting clear on what's happening within and between to help you find your way back to each other.
PRE engagement & PRE-Marital Counseling
The feeling of being truly connected to another human and wanting to share your life with that person is one of the most exciting things in life. Even the process of pre-commitment counseling is full of wonder and joy. Pretty ironic, really, especially when consider the word "counseling" is usually associated with relationship distress. But here, in the newness of love, it's full of sweetness and vulnerability. Enneagram numbers and Meyers- Briggs assessments. All beautiful parts of being together. Until the day comes when you get stuck and can't get back to that wonderful feeling. At M&A Counseling, we help couples learn to get unstuck before years of reactivity and protection make it challenging. Because the research is clear: If a couple can learn to repair, that couple will thrive. If two people can become aware of what's happening within and between them. How they get hurt and protect themselves. How this protection triggers the other, whose protection triggers the other, until they wake up - alone. The good news is that new couples can experience the gold-standard of couple therapy long before their relationship becomes deeply troubled or even doomed. It's called emotionally focused therapy, or EFT. And it will be the best investment a young couple will ever make, not only for their relationship, but also for the secure attachment model they pass on to generations.
FAMILY THERAPY
We first learn about ourselves and about others through close relationships - or family. Am I good or not so much? Are you safe or not so much? Some can be healthy and nurturing bonds, providing us with a solid foundation to launch into life. Others are not so secure and we learn adaptive strategies to survive. These can often be the very behaviors we get stuck in. "Family Systems" is a type of lens we look through. A well-researched and evidence-based way of seeing and making sense of behavior, dilemmas, and pain. All behavior makes sense in its context. Simpler still, you have a million good reasons for the stuck spot you find yourself in. Attachment science is a bit more magnified. It helps us understand the way humans are wired to connect and what happens when we can't. This built-in need to count on significant others starts with our caregivers and then, with adult romantic attachment bonds, with our person. When we've got it, no problem. But when we don't, we look for someone to have it with us. If there's no one there, we can develop some pretty nasty habits. We may shut down or lash out - or a combination of both. At M&A Counseling, we work with family attachment systems through Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) . To re-establish more secure family patterns where attachment signals and caregiving responses are effective and emotional bonds get repaired, restoring connection and promoting resilience in family relationships.